yov, that's awesome. I'm so glad to hear that.
Thank you for your thoughtful response to me, Sir D. I will offer a mishmash of only-approximately-ordered responses:
I first want to clarify that my rejection of Christianity is not, as best as I can tell, closely tied to any anti-parental/authority rebellion. First, I shared every step of what I was experiencing with my parents, who supported me in my questioning and took all necessary steps to facilitate it, from arranging meetings with priests for me to ask my questions, checking out books on other religions from the library, and taking me to other types of religious services, including to synagogue on a weekly basis once that became my chosen direction. And second, I was looking for a religion to replace Christianity rather than a transition to atheism: while I found Christianity to be incredible, I never questioned the existence of God at that point. I found a different religious authority and embraced it so wholeheartedly that I routinely tangled with my college religion professors for being insufficiently respectful of Orthodox Judaism (when, you know, the Orthodox teachings were completely contradicted by physical realities discovered via archaeology research.) Nor have my parents provided any strong reaction to my proclamation of atheism. When I was at home in fall 2009, after the Jewish High Holy Days that year, I realized that it had been causing me increasing stress to keep going to religious holidays and celebrations while gradually accepting that I did not actually believe literally in anything that was being said. When I finally blurted this out to my mother, she said that she had been aware that I probably felt that way for quite a while and that she was relieved that I was able to be honest with myself about it.
The second point is as to God's love. I confess that talk of this concept usually causes me to feel extreme anger, not at the speaker, but at what feels very keenly to me to be a comforting (and at times,
discomforting) lie. My anger is linked to the "why bad things happen to good people" phenomenon and to the massive, almost mind-breaking suffering in the world that continues without divine intervention. It is impossible for me to accept that a god can possibly be paying attention to this world, engaging with it, let alone
loving the beings that exist within it, and permit without intervention people to be born into suffering, torture, illness, and death. It is impossible for me to view the good things in my life as divine blessings or manifestations of divine love, when that view necessarily means that others (who are as or more deserving) have not been visited with such blessings and love. While I have lived a first-world life suffused with a reasonable amount of middle-class privilege, my forays into the study and especially practice of human rights law have already exposed me to too much suffering and pain for me ever to forgive any god that exists for failing to intervene in concrete, tangible, modern terms. (Even assuming for the sake of argument that Jesus was a form of divine intervention, it was manifestly insufficient to deal with current physical suffering; nor do I find "god intervenes in the world through us" arguments to be persuasive.) It is not coincidence that my movement from agnosticism to a much more strident atheism has coincided with increased exposure to other people's suffering. For me, the death or nonexistence of god is the much kinder reality; if god exists and indifferently refuses to intervene in this world tangibly to help his/her/its "creations" whom we are to believe that it "loves," I have a lot to say to that god in a conversation, and most of it would be edited if posted on this board.
So for me, divine love is very much incompatible with the painful realities of this world. We are the only beings who are available to change those realities - to show help, caring, and love to other people. It is this atheist view that leads me to want to help people - the belief that there is no one else but me (and other similarly-situated human beings) to care.
As for working with prisoners ... yes. I have more than a passing familiarity with the work you describe, including the physical risks that one takes in working with inmates - among the circle of people I know, the harm has included an attempted sexual assault, several people who have been hit, and one who was choked. It is not easy work but it is important work. I agree with what Ax said: "My observations have been that the people who are fully engaged in them are all equally sincere in their faiths, or their secular visions, and all equally driven to do the right thing not for any reward, but because within their worldview it is simply right." I suspect that we are each exposed to people doing this work who are more likely to share our worldview and orientation: I confess that most people I know who are working with prisoners are liberal atheists and agnostics, with a smattering of very liberal Christians and Jews mixed in. Anyway, I hope that your volunteer experiences prove very rewarding for you.
As for the Salvation Army, I am sorry to say that their American branch's hateful treatment of
gay people who are in need and
gay employees has left me with very little regard for them. I will be quite relieved if you tell me their practices in Canada are less bigoted.
Finally, I actually agree with you that life would seem fuller if a "loving parent" god existed who cared for us, watched over us, and did
anything concrete to help us. Unfortunately, I think that construct is a comforting lie, and while I think life would be better if I believed it, I can't figure out how to present it to myself in a way that seems like something other than a lie.
ETA "college religion professors," not "college religious professors"
- gah, you can proofread a post twice and still this stuff slips by.
