Apologies

[Lalaith]

Cerin, fwiw, I had you pegged as an INTJ. (I wouldn't have been surprised to find that you were an ENTJ, but I have no good way of knowing the I/E expression from most online interactions. For example, you might think I'm an extrovert based on my posts. However, if you knew me in real life, it would be very obvious that I'm a strong introvert. Perhaps it's the same for you?)

I get along with INTJs quite well, too. Due to the fact that (a) types exist along a continuum and (b) people are people and can't ever be definitively pegged down to anything, the variations can be quite large, even with just one letter difference. For example, my T (thinking) is on the lower end of the continuum, probably about 25% or so, and my F (feeling) is quite well-developed for my type. My P (perception) is quite strong, and I would suspect your J (judging) is also quite strong. And that one difference right there can be rather huge!

Cross-posted with anthy and yovi, and we all agree!

[Impenitent]

My post vanished into the ether.

Oh well.

[Lalaith]

No, that's not okay!

[anthriel]

It was probably duking it out with all those other posts being posted concurrently. Can you repost it?

[Cerin]

Thanks, V! That's very entertaining reading.

I would say that you, Cerin, are most certainly a "T". Any test that says otherwise will have my very raised eyebrow to deal with.

Love this picture!


yov and Lali, I'm glad to know that you agree.

My post vanished into the ether.

Definitely not ok!!

[Impenitent]

Not worth reposting There were no gems in it.

[Cerin]

Not worth reposting There were no gems in it.

The gem is the fact of it being from you.

[Passdagas the Brown]

It brings to mind drone strikes. We regret the killing of innocents, but we don't apologize for using the drones. That's rather hollow, isn't it?

I don't think it's hollow, as long as its clear that you are using the drones NOT to kill innocents, but to kill enemy combatants. Apologize for the unintended consequences, but not the intention.

So in this case, you regret that the person's feelings were hurt, but also make clear that your intentions were legitimate. Yes, that's a half-apology, but I think it's 50% less hollow than no apology at all.

[Frelga]

Actually, the more relevant question may be, where do you want your relationship with this person to go, what you need to do to achieve that outcome, and are you willing to live with the fallout of not doing it.

OK, that's three questions.

[Cerin]

Actually, the more relevant question may be, where do you want your relationship with this person to go, what you need to do to achieve that outcome, and are you willing to live with the fallout of not doing it.

OK, that's three questions.

I'm guessing you must be an FP type to be looking at it that way? Not relevant to a TJ like myself.

(Another advantage of the MB types? Cuts way down on verbiage.)

[Cerin]

(It's an amazing shorthand tool, isn't it! When I think of the words I could have spared this community . . . )

But let me be serious. Of course the relationship is important to me and I want it to continue healthily, but to approach it from that perspective . . . it's like a foreign language. I have to figure out what seems right to me, and proceed from there.

And I am coming to some conclusions. I feel pretty firmly that 'apologize, regret, sorry' for me have to be accompanied by a renunciation of the action that caused the thing regretted, so not, 'I'm sorry for your pain (but not for causing it)'.

But I could sincerely apologize for not being more gentle when communicating my thoughts, and for the pain that no doubt resulted from my tendency to speak forcefully. (Thank you, Lalaith. I don't think I would have gotten there myself!)

[Frelga]

I test as INTJ

[Cerin]

I test as INTJ

Well, I test as an ISFJ (not!)

How can we both be INTJs? You're so much nicer than I am. And much more people-y. And you don't annoy people. And are comfortable with repartee and chit chat. I have my doubts.


yov, what say you? Is this possible? Also, can you tell me anything about the potential interactions between an INTJ and an INFJ (as I think my sis might be)?

[JewelSong]

I am an INFJ. I have come out that way on every single Meyer-Briggs test I've ever taken.

And I refuse to apologize for it.

[Frelga]

I test as INTJ

Well, I test as an ISFJ (not!)

How can we both be INTJs? You're so much nicer than I am. And much more people-y. And you don't annoy people. And are comfortable with repartee and chit chat. I have my doubts.

First off, thank you for your kind words. Too kind, really - I annoy plenty of people, occasionally on purpose. >:)

Second, I do test on or close to the borderline for several traits. Which is why, as I probably posted elsewhere, I'm not a huge fan of these classifications. The T/F, etc., pairs are not binary, rather, my sense is that people possess certain "quantities", for lack of better word, of each, and while we may be more of one than the other, it doesn't mean that the other side is not expressed at all.

Third, I found that empirically, horoscopes give me a more accurate idea of the basic personality than the Meyer-Briggs types.

[Alatar]

Third, I found that empirically, horoscopes give me a more accurate idea of the basic personality than the Meyer-Briggs types.

This!

Also, what MB type find the very idea of personality types vaguely offensive?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Nin]

Third, I found that empirically, horoscopes give me a more accurate idea of the basic personality than the Meyer-Briggs types.

This!

Also, what MB type find the very idea of personality types vaguely offensive?

Mine!

[yovargas]

Also, what MB type find the very idea of personality types vaguely offensive?

S-types would be far more likely to find them useless then N-types and - hey look! - two of our boards only S-types happen to be the ones who don't like MB.


Cerin, the MB types can only provide some very broad (though IMO still very useful) categories and people can still vary greatly even within the same type. There are for core types (with each having 4 core sub-types); your core type of NT means that your strong suit is in the realm of abstract thinking, of exploring ideas (as opposed to things) in an internal way. That's a very useful thing to know about a person - that they are most comfortable in abstract thought - but it is very, very, very far from telling you everything about a person! For one thing, there are ranges to these things so that some people are going to be extremely NT while others only mildly so (I believe you are a very strong NT; ie. someone who tends very strongly to live in the world of abstraction, principles, ideals, logic, ect). The very strong NT tends to be very uncomfortable with chit chat, I've noticed, while milder NTs can do pretty okay when amongst their own kind. (Nearly everyone on this board is an N.) For another, many people learn behaviors that are against type for various reasons - our very I Anthy has described having to learn E behaviors because she worked as a salesperson - and can grow to feel comfortable playing against type even if it is not their strong suit. Certainly MB isn't going to tell you something like "niceness" or "kindness" or anything like that. Every type can be very nice and kind or totally immoral jerks!


Also, js is not an INFJ, I don't care what the tests say.

[JewelSong]

Also, js is not an INFJ, I don't care what the tests say

Hm. I think the description is pretty accurate. Since you've never met me in person and don't really know me except by how I write, you're probably not the best judge.

[yovargas]

How dare you, I am always the best judge! Of all the things!