Wampus, I haven't faced a situation as serious as yours, but I know the feeling from several smaller setbacks and conflicts, and these times sure are very demanding for you. May your arms never get tired to support your loved ones.WampusCat wrote:So without being Little Miss Sunshine (as if I could be), I feel like I have to hold everything and everybody up. Here's hoping my arms don't get tired.
Prayer Thread
- Rowanberry
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See the world as your self.
Have faith in the way things are.
Love the world as your self;
then you can care for all things.
~ Lao Tzu
- Primula Baggins
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Wampus, you and Gary will be in my prayers tomorrow. I pray for hope and strength for you both.
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
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- Primula Baggins
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I am, too.
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
- WampusCat
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So good of all of you to keep us in mind!
I'm sorry I haven't posted an update, but that's been because there was not much to report. The appointment turned out to be just a discussion of the scan results. We'd heard most of it already: multiple metastases in both lungs. The only part that was new was that there was also a probable metastatic lesion in one of his ribs. This was exactly where he's had some pain for the last few months and assumed it was a pulled muscle.
We were referred to an oncologist but couldn't get an appointment until late next week. This made Gary furious and frustrated -- his nerves are on edge these days. But last night he providentially ran into a motorcycle-riding buddy who, it turned out, works with the oncology practice. She pulled strings and managed to get him an appointment this afternoon! So I'll probably know more later today. A few close friends had said they'd be praying that he'd get a quicker appointment, so I'm impressed right now by the power of prayer!
Keep it up, please...
I'm sorry I haven't posted an update, but that's been because there was not much to report. The appointment turned out to be just a discussion of the scan results. We'd heard most of it already: multiple metastases in both lungs. The only part that was new was that there was also a probable metastatic lesion in one of his ribs. This was exactly where he's had some pain for the last few months and assumed it was a pulled muscle.
We were referred to an oncologist but couldn't get an appointment until late next week. This made Gary furious and frustrated -- his nerves are on edge these days. But last night he providentially ran into a motorcycle-riding buddy who, it turned out, works with the oncology practice. She pulled strings and managed to get him an appointment this afternoon! So I'll probably know more later today. A few close friends had said they'd be praying that he'd get a quicker appointment, so I'm impressed right now by the power of prayer!
Keep it up, please...
- truehobbit
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- Primula Baggins
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Of course we'll keep it up.
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
- WampusCat
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The oncologist laid out the treatment options and was very honest about which he thought worked and which were pointless, especially considering side effects. Surgery isn't an option because of the multiple sites. Radiation would only help with pain, and the pain from the lesion on his rib isn't that severe yet. Interleukin and interferon are too toxic for the very small numbers who are helped.
The doctor's recommendation was to choose between the newer drugs. But he also said the disease is essentially uncurable, and the treatments are just to buy a few more months. Most patients with the disease at this stage live 9-12 months, some last two years, and hardly anyone makes it to 5.
Before starting treatment, the doctor wants to get a full MRI to make sure nothing is going on in the brain (which would require different treatment). So we have a few days to consider which way to go. Gary's in shock and wondering if it's even worth treating the cancer, but I told him it was.
I just feel sort of numb.
The doctor's recommendation was to choose between the newer drugs. But he also said the disease is essentially uncurable, and the treatments are just to buy a few more months. Most patients with the disease at this stage live 9-12 months, some last two years, and hardly anyone makes it to 5.
Before starting treatment, the doctor wants to get a full MRI to make sure nothing is going on in the brain (which would require different treatment). So we have a few days to consider which way to go. Gary's in shock and wondering if it's even worth treating the cancer, but I told him it was.
I just feel sort of numb.
Oh, puerile-term!
Wampus, I am SO SORRY. I cannot imagine how this feels for you and Gary.
You are very much in my prayers.
Wampus, I am SO SORRY. I cannot imagine how this feels for you and Gary.
You are very much in my prayers.
"What do you fear, lady?" Aragorn asked.
"A cage," Éowyn said. "To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
"A cage," Éowyn said. "To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
Gary's in shock and wondering if it's even worth treating the cancer, but I told him it was.
It is.
I would urge both of you to keep the later appointment with the other oncologist as well. This is one disease where you definitely want several alternate opinions because kidney cancer is not a widespread cancer and the tiny metastases that sometimes result from it are not the specialty of many oncologists. Also, check the internet for hospitals that specialize in cancer treatment in your area. There can be a huge difference in the treatments available at a particular hospital depending on their specialty.
You both remain in our prayers, Wampus.
Jn
It is.
I would urge both of you to keep the later appointment with the other oncologist as well. This is one disease where you definitely want several alternate opinions because kidney cancer is not a widespread cancer and the tiny metastases that sometimes result from it are not the specialty of many oncologists. Also, check the internet for hospitals that specialize in cancer treatment in your area. There can be a huge difference in the treatments available at a particular hospital depending on their specialty.
You both remain in our prayers, Wampus.
Jn
A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell.
Oh, Wampus, what a hard thing to hear.... I'm sorry. I've had you in mind and will be praying for you and Gary with all my heart.
Jnyusa's right, too. This isn't the time -- while you're in shock from the news and haven't really even surveyed this new (scary, unknown) landscape yet -- to be giving up on all treatment. To know what exactly is worth pursuing and what should be avoided takes a lot of research and consideration. There may certainly be some options out there that are better than others. (In my mother's case, there was a whole experimental program for her rare disease out there her own doctor had not even heard of -- I found the program on the Web. Just to say that at THIS POINT you don't know that much yet; a month from now you'll be such an expert in all of this you'll be amazed.)
Does Gary have adequate moral support as he goes through this initial shock -- and then beyond it? Do you? I mean, apart from each other, for I can see how much you support each other. The main thing, the very most important thing, is to make one's life as meaningful as possible. Warding off depression and despair is really important, and the medical doctors often neglect this side. You can do this thing, Wampus. I'm so sorry you have to, but you can do it.
Jnyusa's right, too. This isn't the time -- while you're in shock from the news and haven't really even surveyed this new (scary, unknown) landscape yet -- to be giving up on all treatment. To know what exactly is worth pursuing and what should be avoided takes a lot of research and consideration. There may certainly be some options out there that are better than others. (In my mother's case, there was a whole experimental program for her rare disease out there her own doctor had not even heard of -- I found the program on the Web. Just to say that at THIS POINT you don't know that much yet; a month from now you'll be such an expert in all of this you'll be amazed.)
Does Gary have adequate moral support as he goes through this initial shock -- and then beyond it? Do you? I mean, apart from each other, for I can see how much you support each other. The main thing, the very most important thing, is to make one's life as meaningful as possible. Warding off depression and despair is really important, and the medical doctors often neglect this side. You can do this thing, Wampus. I'm so sorry you have to, but you can do it.
- Voronwë the Faithful
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Oh, WampusKitty, I am so sorry. Remember that even in the darkest hour there is always hope. Do listen to the words of Jn and Teremia. They are wise.
"Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; and their eyes could see to the depths of the seas, and pierce the hidden caverns beneath the world."
Well I will be honest.
I have steered clear up to this point because I feel like I am piling on empty words. What can be said? I am awful at this kind of thing, but this has nothing to do with how I feel.
Wampus I feel deeply for your family's plight, but that is certainly stating the obvious. How can I help? How can I possibly assuage this grief? I can't. Fact is I can't be there for you either.
I feel for you and I truly wish this were not happening to you.
I just have no clue to what I should say or do. I am sorry.
I have steered clear up to this point because I feel like I am piling on empty words. What can be said? I am awful at this kind of thing, but this has nothing to do with how I feel.
Wampus I feel deeply for your family's plight, but that is certainly stating the obvious. How can I help? How can I possibly assuage this grief? I can't. Fact is I can't be there for you either.
I feel for you and I truly wish this were not happening to you.
I just have no clue to what I should say or do. I am sorry.
- WampusCat
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Gee, Holby, I'll be honest too: I feel the same way. I don't know what to say or do. With Gary, with family, with friends, with message boards.
But I do know that I appreciate all the kind words and advice. We both have people we can talk to and rely on. There's even a nearby Halofirian, tinwë, who has offered to help in any way. (Hmmmm...I think what we really need is a retaining wall...)
We're just lost in the emotions right now, and scared for the future. Your support, spoken or unspoken, matters to us. We are all bound together, with words or without. But even inadequate words heal and comfort.
But I do know that I appreciate all the kind words and advice. We both have people we can talk to and rely on. There's even a nearby Halofirian, tinwë, who has offered to help in any way. (Hmmmm...I think what we really need is a retaining wall...)
We're just lost in the emotions right now, and scared for the future. Your support, spoken or unspoken, matters to us. We are all bound together, with words or without. But even inadequate words heal and comfort.
- Primula Baggins
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I feel as helpless as Holby. I am so sorry! But I also think that Jnyusa and Teremia have offered some wise words.
I am praying for you both, as always.
I am praying for you both, as always.
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
Jane, I am so deeply sorry to hear this. You’ve been hit with so many trials recently, but this one can hardly be borne. Like everyone else I just don’t know what to say. It’s not fair.
I am here, for whatever you need, whatever I can do. I’m sure you do have a strong support network, your church will be there for you, and friends and family. But, anything that I can do I will, though I feel so helpless.
I am here, for whatever you need, whatever I can do. I’m sure you do have a strong support network, your church will be there for you, and friends and family. But, anything that I can do I will, though I feel so helpless.