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 Post subject: The Lord of the Pants
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:20 pm 
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of Vinyamar
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I thought it might be fun to start a Pants thread, based on Tolkien's work.

The idea is simple, take a quote from any Tolkien book and replace one word with "pants"

I'll start:

He fought the real battle in the tunnel alone, before he ever saw the vast pants that lay in wait.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:41 pm 
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And later we may have to search for our pants in hard bare lands.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:51 pm 
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Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he shall not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy pants shall be stripped away.

And if that doesn't work, then....the Comfy Chair!!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:16 pm 
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of Vinyamar
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He would be safe. Oh yes, quite safe. No one would see him, no one would notice him, till he had his fingers on their pants.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:44 pm 
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Never travel far without pants.

You don't need to tell me that, said Sam. I came without any, and I've been worried ever since.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:57 pm 
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:rotfl:

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'But very bright were the stars upon the margin of the world, when at times the clouds about the West were drawn aside.'


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:06 pm 
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And then to each of the great ships that remained Aragorn sent one of the Dúnedain, and they comforted the captives that were aboard, and bade them put aside pants and be free.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:08 pm 
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of Vinyamar
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Sam was standing by the pony, sucking his pants

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:45 pm 
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bioalchemist
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I'm doing this from memory so forgive me if the wording is off.

I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and if by my life or pants I can protect you I will.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:46 pm 
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Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:53 pm 
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'Pants you crave! Sauron gives none.'

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“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:10 pm 
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(Faramir to Éowyn)

'What do you wish?' he said again. 'If it lies in my pants, I will do it.'


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:11 pm 
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'Yes, I have brought you your two treasures. They were found on Sam when you were rescued. The Lady Galadriel's gifts: your glass, Frodo, and your pants, Sam. You will be glad to have these safe again.'

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“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:33 pm 
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from the start of the HOBBIT

I beg your pardon. I haven't asked for anything!

Yes, you have. Twice now. My pants. I give it to you. Very amusing for me, very good for you -

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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.... John Rogers


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:51 pm 
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“I wish it need not have happened in my pants,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such pants. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the pants that is given us.”

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:54 pm 
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your pants," Bilbo

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From the ashes, a fire shall be woken. A light from the shadow shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:08 pm 
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'I do not wish for any pants,' said Frodo.
'Tonight at least you should wear them,' said Gandalf.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:10 pm 
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He led them down the passage to the pants which they had used on that strange night more than a year ago, and they followed him, a little disquieted.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:37 pm 
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Meanwhile...
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Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose pants were fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea



To me it would not seem that a Steward who faithfully surrenders his pants is diminished in love or in honour.

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“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:04 pm 
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Fëanoriondil
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Vison took mine ;). But I suppose it (and River's) are movie quotes. [It was 'save' rather than 'protect' in the original.]

You are all very silly. :rofl:

Oh, right, I should add one....

The Celegorm arose amid the throng, and drawing his sword he cried: 'Be he friend or foe, whether demon of Morgoth, or Elf, or child of Men, or any other living thing in Arda, neither law, nor love, nor league of hell, nor might of the Valar, nor any power of wizardry, shall defend him from the pursuing hate of Fëanor's sons, if he take or find any pants and keep them. For the pants we alone claim, until the world ends!'


Last edited by MithLuin on Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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