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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2007 3:12 pm 
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And I will change Bombadil's line, Voronwë. It is one he uses elsewhere anyway and it makes it sound more idiomatic. Thanks for the advice.

Here is the start of Episode Six. I can slow down or speed up the rate at which I post these. The only guidance I give myself is trying to stop too much at once being indigestible.

A close-up of the sign of the Prancing Pony swinging in a grey light. The camera pulls back to show the archway to the inner courtyard. The opening credits come up: JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings Episode Six: A Knife in the Dark etc The credits continue as the camera cuts to Strider uncloaked, walking along a shadowed panelled corridor towards the camera. As he passes windows grey light falls on him. Cut to his boots descending stairs. Cut to him inspecting a room with broken shutters and curtains blowing inwards and beds slashed and ruined. Butterbur enters behind him.
Butterbur: ‘What are we coming to? Good bolsters ruined and all!’ He picks up a slashed bolster. Strider pulls back bedcovers one after one and we see the bolsters masquerading as hobbits. Frodo comes in the room and looks around.

Frodo: ‘ Strider, all our ponies have been taken! There is not a horse or pony left in the stables here.’ Butterbur looks even more distressed.

Butterbur: ‘ I’ll send Nob out to find more for you. I don’t hold out much hope though. Horses aren’t common even in Bree and what there is will be needed for work.’ He hurries out. Strider sits on a bed as the other hobbits come in and look around at the results of the attack. He watches them.

Strider: ‘Ponies could not out-run the great horses of the south. But it is a hundred leagues to Rivendell, even more by the paths I shall take you. It is food that concerns me. We needed at least one beast to carry our stores. Can you carry much more?’ Pippin looks worried but Sam nods bravely.
Cut to the hobbits and Strider around a long table loading their packs. Nob comes in.

Nob: ‘All I could get was a pony from Bill Ferny. It is half-starved and I had to give him three times its value but Mr Butterbur insisted on paying. It’s in a poor state I’m afraid.’

Strider: Ferny hopes to make a profit from his mischief but we have no choice. Thank Butterbur for us.’
Cut to the company walking past a few onlookers at the outskirts of Bree. Strider is in front with Merry, Pippin and Frodo behind. Sam at the back leads the pony. He is feeding it an apple and whispering in its ear.
Frodo hangs back and turns to Sam.

Frodo, in a low voice: ‘The one at the end is Bill Ferny I think.’ Cut to Ferny slouching and grinning as Strider passes him.

Ferny: ‘Found some friends at last Longshanks? (As Merry, Pippin and Frodo pass him) Watch out tonight my little ones! (As Sam passes him) And you, Sammie, don’t you go ill-treating my poor pony.’ Sam without warning wheels around and throws an apple at Ferny who clutches his face and falls. The onlookers laugh. Sam stands there for a moment clenching and unclenching his hand then turns to follow the rest.
Sam: ‘Waste of a good apple. Come on Bill.’ The pony looks at Ferny on the ground then walks on.
Fade to the company standing on a broad track near trees and bushes.

Strider: ‘ The Riders lay in wait for you down the Greenway that leads to the south. When they discover you have left Bree on the East road they will soon follow us. I will leave the road here. These woods have countless tracks where I can lose any pursuit.’
A few scenes of the company walking through beautiful sunlit woodland clearings, the leaves falling to the ground in reds and yellows.
Cut to the company on high ground looking out over broad reed beds stretching into the distance.

Strider: ‘The easy part of the journey is over. We dare not take to the road so we must find our way through the Midgewater Marshes.’
Cut to a close-up side view of a black hood.

We hear the chilling voice again: ‘They fly east to the Elves. Here in the North, so far from our Master we have not yet the power to confront the High Elves. Their day will soon come. As for the rat, how can it escape us on a hundred leagues of empty road? (Cut to a full view of the mounted figure. He pulls out a long thin slightly curved knife.) When it falls before me I will enslave it with a Morgul spell. Come!’
Cut to Merry pulling Pippin out of a muddy pool. We hear a high pitched whine. Cut to a medium distance shot of Strider’s head and shoulders moving above reeds. The whine continues. Cut to the hobbits sitting and eating on an old fallen tree trunk. Strider stands and looks into the distance. There is a loud constant sound of crickets as well as the high pitched whine. The hobbits slap themselves or suck their wrists.

Pippin: ‘Midgewater? There are more midges than water!’

Sam: ‘What do they eat when they can’t get hobbit?’
Cut to a night scene. Strider is standing, looking out beyond one side of the camera. Frodo comes up. The sound of the midges and crickets is even louder.

Frodo: ‘I can’t sleep. What are those lightning flashes on the horizon. (Cut to a view of the horizon from behind Strider’s head. In one spot the night sky flickers.) Is it a storm coming?’

Cut to an extreme close-up of Striders’ eyes: ‘That is no storm.’
Cut to the muddy party in daylight climbing a gentle slope on dryer ground. Strider raises his hand and they halt.
Strider: ‘This is the fifth day and we have made good time. See that line of hills? (Cut to the horizon and a line of hills.) The tall one on the right (Cut to one steep hill) is Weathertop. Anyone on it has a clear view for miles so we need to approach it from the cover of the high ground to the north.’

Frodo: ‘Will we meet Gandalf there?’

Strider: ‘I do not know. We may as easily meet the Riders there for it is next to the road.’
Fade to the company walking along a narrow track that is protected by fern-covered broken stone battlements.

Pippin: ‘With all this exercise, Frodo, you look twice the hobbit you once were.’

Frodo, flapping the long loose end of his belt: ‘ That’s odd since there is a good deal less of me. If I get any thinner I shall become a wraith.’

Strider stops and turns and hisses vehemently: ‘Do not say such a thing!’
Cut to a meal break on a broken stone platform.

Merry: ‘Who built all this?’
Strider: ‘The Men of the West built these defences against the Witch-King of Angmar a thousand years ago. But long, long before that a great watch-tower was raised on Weathertop. Amon Sûl it was called. It is now in ruins but once Elendil stood at its top looking and waiting for Gil-galad.’

Merry: ‘Who?’

Sam, from the back of the group sings a sad song as the others turn to look at him:
‘Gil-galad was an Elven-king
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
The last whose realm was fair and free
Between the Mountains and the Sea.

His sword was long, his lance was keen
His shining helm afar was seen.
The countless stars of heaven’s field
Were mirrored in his silver shield.

But long ago he rode away
And where he dwelleth, none may say
For into darkness fell his star
In Mordor where the shadows are.

( there is a brief moment of silence)
…….er, I learnt it from Mr Bilbo.’

Strider: ‘It is an old song of the Last Alliance between Elves and Men. Bilbo must have translated it.’
Cut to a view of a grey sky with broken clouds. An eagle wheels high up. The camera pans down to broken fortifications and a view from high up of a road that snakes into the distance. In fact, it is the opening scene of the first episode. Cut to Strider, Frodo and Merry within a circle of low tumbled walls. The grass all around is blackened by fire.

Strider: ‘I saw lightning on the horizon three nights ago. I wonder if Gandalf was attacked here? We must not wait, let us go back down to our camp. Even with no ill-fortune it will still take us two more weeks to reach Rivendell.’ Cut to Frodo looking out over a broken wall and pointing.

Frodo: ‘Strider, what are those shapes?’
Cut to a view of the winding road. The camera zooms in until we can make out two small black mounted figures meeting three others. Cut back to Frodo and Strider who ducks instantly.

Strider: ‘Get down! It is them!’
Cut to Strider, Merry and Frodo joining Pippin and Sam in a broad but sheltered dip in the hillside, Sam is rubbing the pony’s ears.

Strider: ‘Listen! There are Black Riders on the road . We cannot leave Weathertop for now without being seen. This dell is well-hidden from the road though and we may escape being discovered. When the night comes we should build a small fire. They make their servants use fire but they do not love it themselves.’
Cut to the evening and they sit around a tiny fire. A large pile of brushwood lies close by. The hobbits are covered in blankets against the cold.

Merry: ‘Do you know more tales of the Old Days Strider?’

Strider, knocking out the ashes from a pipe against his sole: ‘ I can tell you a part of the tale of Lúthien Tinúviel. Only Elrond himself knows the full story. ( As Strider tells his tale the camera moves between his face and those of the listening hobbits, caught in the firelight. )

It was in the First Age , back in the morning of the world, when Sauron of Mordor was a mere servant of the Great Enemy, Morgoth. The Elves in the far West with a skill that could never be repeated made three great jewels, the Silmarils. Those three jewels captured the holy light of the Two Trees before they were lost forever to the world. Only a few Elves now remain in Middle-earth who have gazed upon the light of those trees. Morgoth lusted for the jewels and stole the Silmarils to place in his black iron crown. He fled east to Middle-earth and the Elves pursued him and fought long bitter wars to regain them. Countless sorrows fell on them but men came to their aid. Barahir, one such man was killed and his son, Beren escaped through lands of terror into the forests of Thingol, the Elf-King. There he met Thingol’s daughter, Lúthien as she danced among the woodland flowers and they fell in love. She was the fairest Elf-maiden ever seen and he named her Tinúviel or Nightingale.. They were parted until Lúthien rescued Beren from the dungeons of Sauron. Together they threw down the Great Enemy himself from his throne and took back from his crown one of the Silmarils. But Beren at the last was slain by the Wolf of Angbad and Lúthien chose mortality to join him in death.
But her line continues in both Elves and Men. Elrond of Rivendell is of her kin. His father Eärendil bore the Silmaril on his brow (Cut to the view of the star above the trees at the meeting with Gildor) into the seas of the sky. And from Eärendil came the kings of the Men of Westernesse.’
Aragorn's face rests in repose for a moment.

Cut to a view of much of the dell as Strider gets up to stretch his legs. Sam too rises and walks off towards the pony. Cut to a close view of the group round the fire as Sam runs back to Frodo.

Sam: ‘ I just now felt as if something horrible was creeping up the slope towards me. I dursn’t go back there for anything.!’ Strider comes running back and pushes torches in the fire then hands them out.

Strider: ‘They are here! Keep your backs to the fire!’

Merry: ‘Oh, no! Look!’ He points, his face terrified.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 26, 2008 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 9:10 pm 
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Just pausing (I'm only on episode 4) to make a brief comment. This is such a wonderful rendition! I especially loved
Quote:
Cut to a bush and a soft rustling and a fox’s head pokes out. It stares for a moment, blinks and moves on.

What a nice touch! I agree with Voronwë when he said
Quote:
Some things would simply be too puristy. This way is perfect; those of us who have obsessively read the books would "hear" the fox's thoughts in our head, just from seeing him "staring for a moment". Well done!



I also had to laugh when you said
Quote:
The fireworks are as good as PJ's.
:rofl: I immediately pictured that dragon flying down and catching the tent on fire...but your version feels more true to the book. I love it! :love:

Keep writing!! :D

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 10:06 pm 
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Tosh, as far as I am concerned, the rate is just right. It's good to have a little bit of time to assimmilate each part, but I don't want to have to wait too long.

I don't really have any nitpicks on this portion. There are a couple of things that I might like to see be expanded a bit, but I understand that you have some time considerations.

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 10:53 pm 
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Quote:
We hear Bombadil derry dolling somewhere.
:rofl:

Quote:
(If I hear that terrible hackneyed metallic scraping of a sword being drawn I will personally boot the sound effects team off the production! As an owner of swords, this is a niggle of mine.)
I have never had the privilege of drawing a real sword from a scabbard, but I had a feeling that scraping sound wasn't quite right. But isn't a scabbard made of leather? I love swords, but know very little about them.

Quote:
In the episode I am currently roughing out the fellowship are approaching Lothlórien so there's plenty still to come. Pity me when I start on the multi-narratives. I am already contemplating a new approach. * is mysterious*

*is getting excited* I can't wait!! :horse:

Quote:
I'm pleased that people enjoy it. So many people argued for a purist version but thought the length meant it wasn't feasible. I hope this is the next best thing.
:agree:
I'm sure to do this totally purist would do it more harm than good. As it is, you are staying true to the story as well as keeping the momentum. Good job!

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 10:59 pm 
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I meant to say this before.

Hi, Trazzie. :wave:

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 11:03 pm 
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Hi, Voronwë! :)

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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 3:49 pm 
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Are you ready for Weathertop? :)

Cut to two black-robed figures standing motionless at the edge of the dell. They glide smoothly, ghost-like and slowly towards the camera. Cut to a view of the dell. Strider takes two torches and advances towards the black figures. They circle around him avoiding his attacks and draw him away. Three more figures, one of them much taller, appear at another point on the edge and move swiftly towards the hobbits. Two halt to stand guard against Strider while the tall one continues. Cut to the hobbits staring. Pippin screams, throws down his torch and hides his face against Merry who protectively covers him and then turns his face in fear too. Sam closes up to Frodo. Cut to Frodo alone, his face is agonising. He pulls out the Ring and puts it on and vanishes. Cut to a tall crowned figure clad in grey armour walking to the camera. His face is gaunt and blank and almost transparent. His eyes are large, unnatural and unsettling and staring. He is illuminated in a sickly greenish white light. In his hand is a long thin slightly curved knife. Cut to a view of the Witch-King approaching Frodo. Frodo is bright and glowing golden. The Ring pulses with light on his hand. All his friends appear as dim dark shadows. The fire burns with an intense redness. We are seeing the scene in the Spirit world. Frodo draws his sword against the advancing figure and the blade flickers blue.
Cut to a view from behind Frodo as the Witch-King advances.

Frodo: 'O Elbereth Gilthoniel!' He slashes wildly and vainly at the legs of the Witch-King then huddles in fear on the ground. The Witch-King bends over him and sticks the knife in Frodo's shoulder. A thin high-pitched girlish shriek of pain is heard. The Witch-King bends the knife to one side to snap off the tip and then tosses the blade aside.

Witch-King: 'Come to me!' He turns and moves swiftly away and Frodo vanishes.
Cut to a normal view of the dell. Sam is bending over Frodo. Merry and Pippin huddle together. Strider runs back towards them. The tall black-garbed figure of the Witch-King pauses for a moment to watch him approach then swiftly moves away. Strider plunges his torches into the pile of brushwood which flares up into an immense blaze. He runs off over the edge.
Cut to the hobbits around Frodo. Sam is cradling his shoulders.

Frodo: 'Where is the pale king?'

Sam: 'All we saw were terrible shadows rushing towards us. Then you disappeared and we heard you scream and we found you again. Strider has run off.' Sam looks up and pulls a grim face.
Cut to a wider view as Strider walks up. Sam stands over Frodo and draws his sword. Strider kneels down in front of him. Cut to Strider kneeling.

Strider, gently: 'I am no enemy Sam, nor do I help them. I tried to follow them but there is no sign of them. It is strange.'
Cut to Strider checking Frodo's shoulder. Merry brings up the discarded Morgul knife.

Strider: 'This is bad. It is an enchanted Morgul blade. See how the tip has broken off. This is beyond my skill but I will do what I can. We need help from those with more knowledge. Heat some water. I saw athelas growing in the stonework less than a mile away.'

Merry: 'Athelas?'

Strider: 'It is a healing plant brought to Middle-earth by the Men of Westernesse. Here in the North it only grows near their ancient camps. I will be quick.' He rises.
Cut to Strider rubbing long leaves together in his palms and dropping them in a hot pan. Fade to Strider pouring a thin stream on to Frodo's shoulder. Frodo winces.

Frodo: 'I am sorry I was weak and put on the Ring. I felt commanded to.'

Strider: 'Do not blame yourself Frodo. (talking to the others) We must leave here at once before they return. Frodo is in no state to walk but there are many days of hard travel still to come.'

Sam: 'Bill can carry him. The pony I mean; that's what I've called him. He's a lot stronger and happier now. We can share out the load that is left between us.'
Brief cut of the company warily crossing the road in the long shadows of morning. Cut to a halt among sparse bushes. Strider is bathing Frodo's shoulder again.

Sam: 'It is four days since the attack and there is still no sign of them. (he picks up a sprig of athelas and examines it and sniffs it.) Why did we escape so easily? And my master's wound has closed up but he is no better.'

Strider, quietly: 'Sam, a fragment of the blade was left in him and they expect it to subdue him to their will. If it is left he will wither into a wraith. As to why we escaped, I think it is the same reason. They believe they merely have to wait and he will go to them. (Sam has hunched over and Strider rests his hand on Sam's back.) Be of good cheer, Sam. I think he is made of sterner stuff than they know.'
Cut to Strider in daylight crouching in the middle of an old stone bridge, poking around in the ground. Cut to a close shot of Strider holding a clear green stone in front of the others.

Strider: 'This was hidden on the bridge. It is a beryl, an elf-stone. I think a friend has left it to mean the bridge is clear. The journey will not get easier, I'm afraid. We soon enter troll country.'
Brief fades of the company crossing a tall, many-arched bridge and travelling among bare rocky country. Frodo is on the pony and covered in blankets. His left arm is raised and scrunched up. Cut to Strider climbing down the last few feet of a rocky cliff and going up to look at Frodo. Frodo is shivering and paying no attention.

Strider: 'I cannot find a way through these hills. To get to the Fords of Bruinen in time for Frodo we must return to the road, despite the danger.'

Pippin: 'I will be happy to leave this country. I am sure we passed a troll-hole just now.' Cut to the company walking a track. Pippin runs back towards them with his finger over his lips.

Pippin: 'Shush! There are three trolls ahead in the woods. I saw them!'
Cut to the others. Merry and Sam look alarmed. Frodo, up on Bill, smiles painfully. Strider picks up a stick and swings it nonchalantly.

Strider: 'Let us take a look then.'
Fade to Merry and Pippin hiding behind trees as Strider walks boldly up to a troll twice his size and breaks his stick on the troll's back.

Strider: 'Get up old stone!'
Cut to Merry and Pippin looking astonished as Sam leads Bill and Frodo up behind them. Sam is smiling and Frodo is laughing.

Frodo: 'You forget my family history. They are Bilbo's trolls turned to stone in the sun while they argued over how to cook thirteen dwarves and one hobbit..'

'Strider: 'You never even saw the bird's nest behind this troll's ear!' They all laugh at an embarrassed Pippin.

Frodo: 'Perhaps Sam can sing another song like he did before Weathertop. (he waves his right hand) No, don't worry. I feel a little stronger in this sunlight.'

Sam: 'Would this suit? Its just nonsense, not proper poetry. There are several verses and Strider says we must be moving on but I can give you a taster for now. (he puts his hands behind his back)
'Troll sat alone in his seat of stone
and munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
for many a year he had gnawed it near
for meat was hard to come by
Done by, gum by,
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone
And meat was hard to come by.
….….I can sing more when we are safe with the Elves.'

Frodo, laughing: 'I think you wrote that yourself. I am learning a lot about Sam Gamgee on this journey.'
Fade to the company descending a slope out of trees on to a road as the light starts to fail. Strider looks warily up and down.

Strider: 'We must trust now that the road is empty. We have to make haste but wait first while I listen.' (He gets down and puts his ear to the road. He looks up, dismayed) 'Ah no! There is a horse approaching! Get off the road now!'
Sam leads Bill and Frodo up the slope and the others follow, Strider last of all. Cut to the company crouching among the trees. Sam is watching Strider who slowly breaks out in a slow, grim grin. Sam frowns and his hand moves to his sword.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 26, 2008 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 8:23 pm 
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Why "'I am no enemy Sam, nor do I help them" rather than "I am not a Black Rider, Sam, nor am I in league with them."? Have you been avoiding the term "black rider"?

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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:41 pm 
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Basically that was one minor example of a constant trimming down of the dialogue that I have to do all the while. That was also an example of a deliberate choice to carefully and selectively reduce a few archaisms so the dialogue works better for a watching audience. I won't go overboard doing this. Ambiguous though Strider is to start with and I have played with that ambiguity right up to that last sentence I posted, I don't think he would make a credible Black Rider. I have given myself the freedom to alter the Prof's words. My only test is if they work. I haven't noticed that I had avoided the term 'Black Rider' but it is easy to overlook such things. After Bree I didn't want to disguise their true nature.
I didn't want to leave out Sam's troll-song but couldn't shorten it like I have the others without seriously mangling it. They need that interlude right there. I feel that my solution is a little clumsy but still borderline acceptable.
I hope I brought out the drama credibly on Weathertop and I hope also I summarised both the story of the Silmarils and Lúthien and Beren without slowing the action down too much. I didn't use flashback because it was only meant to be a campsite tale told to keep fear away.


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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 11:48 pm 
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But...but where's Arwen?!!! :blackeye:

Cruel joke, I appologize. That was just one of the things that really irked me from the movie. PJ did some really great things...and then came Arwen. :doh:

Weathertop is great, although it seemed just a little rushed. But I know you have a time limit, and I think you got the important parts in there. I especially love the trolls, and 'Get up old stone!' :D

Quote:
'Ah no! There is a horse approaching! Get off the road now!'

And I know it ain't Arwen!! :horse:

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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 2:01 am 
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Fact is - the audience will be expecting Arwen. :P

by the way, Tosh, I've been reading off and on.... great job. :D

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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 11:14 am 
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Weathertop rushed? Maybe. I had in my mind how Aragorn confronted the Nazgûl believably and why the Witch-King didn't press his attack home and perhaps made the action too quick when the emotional importance might demand a more drawn out scene.
Anyway time for the culmination of Frodo's mission to Rivendell.


Cut to a white figure on a white horse seen fleetingly through trees, now appearing, now hidden as the camera tracks his progress. We hear the hoofs and a faint tinkling. Cut to a full view of a tall elf riding freely, his cloak and golden hair flowing out behind him. A long sword hilt rises from each shoulder. The camera tracks back to keep him in view as he rides. We hear the sound of harps and strange melodious instruments. Suddenly his head turns to one side and his horse comes to a halt. One hand hovers near his shoulder. The camera pulls back to show Strider running down the slope. The elf dismounts and they embrace. Cut to a closer shot.
Glorfindel: ‘Ai na vedui Dúnadan! Mae govannen!’ As the hobbits emerge and circle them the two talk quietly and hurriedly. Sam, holding Bill’s reins looks from Strider to Glorfindel.

Strider: ‘This is the elf-lord Glorfindel from the house of Elrond.’ He gently lifts Frodo down from the pony

Glorfindel: ‘Well met at last. I left Imladris nine days ago in search of you. Gildor had sent word that the Nine had risen again, that you were astray with no guidance and that Gandalf was missing. Elrond sent out those strong enough to oppose the Nine to look for you. I drove three off the bridge into the wilderness but five are behind us on the road. Others may wait for us at the Fords.’ Frodo’s legs weaken and he totters until Sam supports him.

Sam: ‘My master is sick and wounded. He can’t go on.’
Strider shows the knife to Glorfindel and they talk quietly again. Glorfindel turns to Frodo and lifts him on to his tall horse and shortens the stirrups. With a hank of cord that hangs from his belt he fastens Frodo’s legs to the saddle using quick neat movements.

Frodo, slurring his speech: ‘I will not leave my friends behind in danger.’

Glorfindel: ‘Frodo, it is you and your burden that is pursued, not your friends. Here, drink from this flask. It will give you warmth and vigour.’
Cut to the company emerging from a narrow defile. Glorfindel points ahead as he leads Frodo on his horse.

Glorfindel: ‘Look! Ahead are the Fords.’ Cut to a view of the Fords in the distance, a broad stretch of river, the water breaking gently over rocks. To one side is a stand of trees.
Cut to a wide view of the company starting to cross the flat ground. Cut to a close-up of Glorfindel as he turns.

Glorfindel: ‘The enemy are upon us! Ride Frodo!’
Cut to the defile again as first one Rider gallops out then another until five stretch out in a line. Cut to a close-up of Frodo.

Frodo, through gritted teeth to himself: ‘They command me to wait.’ He draws his little sword.

Cut to Glorfindel: ‘Noro lim! Noro lim! Asfaloth!’
Cut to a shot of Frodo on Asfaloth. The horse turns and starts to gallop. Cut to the defile. Terrible shrieks start up from each Rider in turn. They start to gallop towards the camera. Cut to Frodo rolling in the saddle, his eyes half closed, his sword dangling and swaying by the horse’s flank. Cut to a view again of the Fords and the stand of trees. Cut to a long view of the five Riders pursuing a lone white horse across the flats. Cut to Frodo’s head lolling and jerking with the movement. Cut back again to the view of the Fords. Four Black Riders emerge from the trees and gallop towards the camera. Cut to the long view again as the two groups converge. Asfaloth swerves and avoids the second group and gallops ahead.
Cut to a view from the far bank of the Fords as Asfaloth steps through the shallow waters. The first Black Riders appear on the opposite bank and others arrive and form a line. The tallest stretches out an arm.

Witch-King: ‘Come to me!’ Cut to a view of Frodo half conscious on the horse. The cords magically unravel and he slides off the horse into the shallows.
Cut to the line of Nazgûl on the other bank. They start the crossing.

Witch-King: ‘Come to me!’

The Nazgûl together: ‘The Ring! The Ring!’

Witch-King: ‘Give me the Ring! Come to Mordor with me!’
Cut back to show Frodo in the water with Asfaloth next to him.

Frodo staggers to his feet, raises his sword in the air and shouts: ‘By Elbereth and Lúthien the fair, you shall have neither the Ring nor me!’ Again the Witch-King raises his hand and Frodo’s sword splinters and crumbles. Frodo staggers out of the water and up on to a high rock and collapses.
Cut to a view of the black horses’ legs advancing in the water as the Witch-King laughs: ’Come to Mordor!’
Cut to the water much higher up their legs. A roaring sound is faintly heard. Cut to the Riders looking upstream as the water is almost up to the horses’ bellies. Some attempt to return to the bank. Cut to a long view of the river upstream. We see a torrent slowly approaching.
Cut to three Black Riders gaining the bank .
Cut to the hobbits and Strider stretching out in a line to fill the screen, each holding a pair of burning brands, running towards the camera.
Cut to Glorfindel blazing with white light in a broad halo around him in the darkness. He runs at the camera as he wields two swords in interweaving figure of eight cuts until the last thing we see is his ferocious eye.
Cut to the three Black Riders turning and riding back into the river, two of them falling off into the water.
Cut to a long shot again in slow motion as the torrent relentlessly hits all nine Riders and sweeps them away. Cut to the torrent full on camera, a great roaring sound and white horses’ heads at the tops of the waves facing chaotically in all directions. The torrent hits the camera and the roaring reaches a crescendo.
Cut to a close-up of Asfaloth’s back as the sound dwindles. The camera slowly tracks over the saddle, over the neck and down the head to see Asfaroth nuzzling Frodo. He is stretched out, his bladeless sword still in his hand. His eyes are open and unseeing. The camera lingers on his face for a moment then fades slowly to black.
The closing credits come up.


Last edited by ToshoftheWuffingas on Mon May 26, 2008 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 4:12 pm 
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Nice. :D I especially like the part about Glorfindel and Co. driving the Nine into the Fords.

However, "Glorfindel's ferocious eye?????" just that on the screen.

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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 4:34 pm 
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I suppose it is an image derived from manga and anime but I wanted to convey the ferocity and fearfulness of Glorfindel in some way. It was meant to be a dynamic image in that he runs to camera and that is the last thing we see. I have also used an close-up eye image in the Shadow of the Past, Tom Bombadil and Strider seeing the lightning around Weathertop.


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PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2007 2:59 pm 
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:shock: *is breathless*

That was great! :D

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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:55 pm 
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Tosh!!!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

At long last, a Ford of Bruinen scene to love. :P

That was wonderful, I really felt the tension! It really is such a cinematic scene.

Frodo is so :love:

And Glorfindel is kinda hot. =:)

1. A long sword hilt rises from each shoulder. So Glorfy had two swords? :scratch:

2. It's Asfaloth, not Asfaroth. ;)

3. Really interesting, this: why do you have Frodo dismount Asfaloth and defy the Riders while standing in the River? Is this because you think it would be easier to pull off from a visual/CGI point of view? :)


I love the closing scene. What wouldn't I have given, in the cinema, to see Asfaloth nosing Frodo's fallen, prostrate body ... :cry:

So much better than Movie Arwen boo-hooing all over him. :D

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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 5:35 pm 
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Pearly Di wrote:
I love the closing scene. What wouldn't I have given, in the cinema, to see Asfaloth nosing Frodo's fallen, prostrate body ... :cry:


:agree: That would have been so much more heart wrenching than having Arwen-SheElf-Hear-Me-Roar carrying a green Frodo over hill and dale before crossing the ford. Her ride was the worst cases of butchery I have ever seen, and my least favorite scene in PJ's version...even worse than Frodo telling Sam to "go home". Well...maybe not that bad. ;):blackeye:

Tosh, you did a magnificent job!

:love::cry::love:

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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 9:34 pm 
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Trazzie, :) I don't want to derail the thread, but I do think Arwen's Elvish incantation to release the power of the Bruinen is pretty darned cool. 8) Totally non-canon of course but I was mostly able to forgive PJ's non-canonical moments when the film narrative at least made sense.

I hate Frodo sending Sam away. Just hate it. Arwen's 24-hour ride to Rivendell, carrying Frodo, wasn't quite so bad in comparison ... maybe. ;)

I also don't mind Arwen replacing Glorfindel. I think that was a very neat way to introduce her ... making her a bit more Luthien-like too. But I would much, much, MUCH rather have seen Frodo face down the Nine on his own. :bawl:

I always get so irritated when I watch her blubbing over him! Look, I know the little guy is extremely cute but you met him, what? Yesterday? And you're blubbing like he's your best friend or something ... sheesh, girl. Give me Asfaloth any day. :D

Noble steed Asfaloth, standing guard over noble Frodo's stricken form and nuzzling him. :love:

You're doing a fabulous job, Tosh. :)

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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 10:24 pm 
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Quote:
always get so irritated when I watch her blubbing over him! Look, I know the little guy is extremely cute but you met him, what? Yesterday? And you're blubbing like he's your best friend or something ... sheesh, girl. Give me Asfaloth any day.


That's the only part that bugs me. I love the rest of it.

Tosh's is pretty cool, too, though. ;)

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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 12:22 am 
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Quote:
Trazzie, I don't want to derail the thread, but I do think Arwen's Elvish incantation to release the power of the Bruinen is pretty darned cool. Totally non-canon of course but I was mostly able to forgive PJ's non-canonical moments when the film narrative at least made sense.

Yeah, I can agree with you there. It was pretty cool. 8) What got to me was 1) it was the first major change (not including the left out scenes) from the book and 2) Frodo riding Asfaloth the ford and defying the 9 is one of my favorite scenes in the book... :love: ...but I can understand PJ's need to condense to get the complete idea of what was happening.

Quote:
I hate Frodo sending Sam away. Just hate it. Arwen's 24-hour ride to Rivendell, carrying Frodo, wasn't quite so bad in comparison ... maybe.

Now THAT is an excellent point. ;):D

/thread derailment

Yay for Tosh's installments!!! :clap:

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