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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 5:54 pm 
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yovargas wrote:
Frelga wrote:
So now the person you just harmed has to not only suffer the harm you caused, they have to prove that they've been harmed in hopes that you will stop.


I mean, if you want people to stop doing something, you have to tell them why. That doesn't seem unreasonable to me. :scratch:
If someone steps on your toe, and you go ouch, do you want them to say sorry and move, or should they question you about your toes, whether you even have any, and whether it hurts you more when their heel is on your toe than it inconveniences them to move away?

All while standing on your foot?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 6:01 pm 
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Frelga wrote:
yovargas wrote:
Frelga wrote:
So now the person you just harmed has to not only suffer the harm you caused, they have to prove that they've been harmed in hopes that you will stop.


I mean, if you want people to stop doing something, you have to tell them why. That doesn't seem unreasonable to me. :scratch:
If someone steps on your toe, and you go ouch, do you want them to say sorry and move, or should they question you about your toes, whether you even have any, and whether it hurts you more when their heel is on your toe than it inconveniences them to move away?

All while standing on your foot?


It also forces this expectation that every interaction is an individual, stand-alone moment, that is not in any way influenced by the history of moments leading up to that point.

We don't need every individual to tell us why this very moment that word or action hurt, because we have known for decades that exactly these moments and these actions hurt! Expecting everyone to repeatedly express this is itself a form of harm perpetuated upon them, to continually prove their pain for our convenience.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 6:08 pm 
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not something I would recommend
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Frelga wrote:
If someone steps on your toe, and you go ouch, do you want them to say sorry and move, or should they question you about your toes, whether you even have any, and whether it hurts you more when their heel is on your toe than it inconveniences them to move away?

All while standing on your foot?


No, because everyone already knows that stepping on toes hurts. The things that only hurt some and not others have to be explained.

Like, say, how most people can eat bread just fine but some people with gluten intolerance are hurt by it. If that person wants their friends to stop taking them out for pizza, they'll have to explain to them what gluten intolerance is.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 2:49 am 
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yovargas wrote:
No, because everyone already knows that stepping on toes hurts.


Do they? I've never had my toes stepped on. Some people enjoy a bit of toe-stepping. If your toes are so sensitive, why are you wearing flip flops? I always wear steel-toed boots. You can step on my foot, I don't care. Fine, if I move my heel closer to your instep will you quit whining about it? See, maybe I'd move if you calmly explained what's wrong with me stepping on your toes, but you are just screaming, so I'm going to bounce up and down on your foot instead.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:17 am 
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not something I would recommend
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I'm not really sure what your point is. That some people are jerks? Cuz, like, duh. :scratch:

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:36 am 
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No, the point is that this is literally how that conversation goes for people who are targets of prejudice. Over and over, they have to have that conversation with each person who steps on their toe. Some people are oblivious. Many are malicious and are prepared to cross the street if they see a toe they could step on.

The point is, when someone tells you that you are hurting them, the kind thing to do is to assume they mean it unless there's evidence to the contrary.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:18 pm 
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of Vinyamar
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Just a little humour :)

Attachment:
Simpsons.jpg
Simpsons.jpg [ 51.56 KiB | Viewed 1646 times ]

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:36 pm 
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Bust out the body paint!

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:45 pm 
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:rotfl:


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:02 pm 
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That little girl is so cute!

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:56 pm 
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A young Kenyan student is told to choose between wearing dreadlocks or going to school. Some people claim it is a violation of her rights as a Rastafarian; others claim the school is right to expect pupils to wear standard uniforms. Where do you stand in the debate? https://t.co/cqSpocJAwr


Or, why Black people may be unhappy about white people sporting dreadlocks.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 12:54 am 
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Frelga wrote:
BBC
Quote:
A young Kenyan student is told to choose between wearing dreadlocks or going to school. Some people claim it is a violation of her rights as a Rastafarian; others claim the school is right to expect pupils to wear standard uniforms. Where do you stand in the debate? https://t.co/cqSpocJAwr


Or, why Black people may be unhappy about white people sporting dreadlocks.


Exactly - appreciation is when you just want to do it too. Appropriation is when you want to be the only ones who do it. Maybe not terribly nuanced but a good broad spectrum view.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 2:13 am 
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I'm not sure what to think. Uniforms (by their very name, purpose, & definition!) intentionally suppress individuality (ostensibly for the good of the 'whole'). The same. Without any difference. Commonality. There are pros & cons. Equality or a feeling of equality and sense of belonging. A commitment to the group as a whole rather than personal development and achievement. Of course, that can come at a personal cost/loss of personal development, achievement, & development of the individual.

In the US, our mindset tends to lean toward individual development & expression being more important. In Japan conformity for the greater good of all is the preferred attitude.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 2:29 am 
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Rose, that's more or less where I started - uniforms have to be uniform, or what's the point? The pitfall here is that the uniform standards for the hairstyles are set based on average European hair. Ponytails, bobs, even one or two pigtails just don't work for very curly hair. So most students of African descent automatically find themselves out of compliance.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 2:49 pm 
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I've never understood why schools have to have policies about hair anyway, even if they have uniform policies.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:05 pm 
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Hoo boy. I remember being in school in the late 60s and early 70s. Hair (for boys) was a HUGE issue. It couldn't be longer than the collar of your shirt.

By the mid-70s they had given up on that rule—but the reason I clearly remember the first time I saw my future husband is that he was one of the TWO young men at our 1,000-student high school whose hair was not just past his collar but hanging down his back.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:18 pm 
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I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:37 pm 
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Voronwë the Faithful wrote:
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!


Oh say can you see my eyes
If you can, then my hair's too short!

Should have put this one on my list of favorites! :love:

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:01 pm 
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Oh, man, that takes me back! My parents saw that show, bought the album, and played it endlessly. I loved it.

(They had no problem with Tom’s hair!)

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― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:38 pm 
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not something I would recommend
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It's pretty weird to me to think how politicized people's hair has been/can be. Like, why do you care? :scratch:

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