If someone steps on your toe, and you go ouch, do you want them to say sorry and move, or should they question you about your toes, whether you even have any, and whether it hurts you more when their heel is on your toe than it inconveniences them to move away?

All while standing on your foot?

_________________

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

It also forces this expectation that every interaction is an individual, stand-alone moment, that is not in any way influenced by the history of moments leading up to that point.

We don't need every individual to tell us why this very moment that word or action hurt, because we have known for decades that exactly these moments and these actions hurt! Expecting everyone to repeatedly express this is itself a form of harm perpetuated upon them, to continually prove their pain for our convenience.

_________________
Window seat for one,
Passage out of town
The old fashioned way:
Train ticket, out bound.
Midnight departure,
Red-eye double-track.
Star filled horizons,
Beacons in the black.
Last call for boarding,
Destination: nowhere.
Two carry-on bags
Ought to get me there.
Don’t know how far
‘Til my journey’s done;
Train ticket, out bound,
Window seat for one.

No, because everyone already knows that stepping on toes hurts. The things that only hurt some and not others have to be explained.

Like, say, how most people can eat bread just fine but some people with gluten intolerance are hurt by it. If that person wants their friends to stop taking them out for pizza, they'll have to explain to them what gluten intolerance is.

_________________
I wanna love somebody but I don't know how
I wanna throw my body in the river and drown
-The Decemberists

Do they? I've never had my toes stepped on. Some people enjoy a bit of toe-stepping. If your toes are so sensitive, why are you wearing flip flops? I always wear steel-toed boots. You can step on my foot, I don't care. Fine, if I move my heel closer to your instep will you quit whining about it? See, maybe I'd move if you calmly explained what's wrong with me stepping on your toes, but you are just screaming, so I'm going to bounce up and down on your foot instead.

_________________

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

I'm not really sure what your point is. That some people are jerks? Cuz, like, duh.

_________________
I wanna love somebody but I don't know how
I wanna throw my body in the river and drown
-The Decemberists

No, the point is that this is literally how that conversation goes for people who are targets of prejudice. Over and over, they have to have that conversation with each person who steps on their toe. Some people are oblivious. Many are malicious and are prepared to cross the street if they see a toe they could step on.

The point is, when someone tells you that you are hurting them, the kind thing to do is to assume they mean it unless there's evidence to the contrary.

_________________

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

Just a little humour

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The Vinyamars on Stage! This time at Bag End

Bust out the body paint!

_________________
When you can do nothing what can you do?

That little girl is so cute!

_________________

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

BBC


Or, why Black people may be unhappy about white people sporting dreadlocks.

_________________

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

Exactly - appreciation is when you just want to do it too. Appropriation is when you want to be the only ones who do it. Maybe not terribly nuanced but a good broad spectrum view.

_________________
Window seat for one,
Passage out of town
The old fashioned way:
Train ticket, out bound.
Midnight departure,
Red-eye double-track.
Star filled horizons,
Beacons in the black.
Last call for boarding,
Destination: nowhere.
Two carry-on bags
Ought to get me there.
Don’t know how far
‘Til my journey’s done;
Train ticket, out bound,
Window seat for one.

I'm not sure what to think. Uniforms (by their very name, purpose, & definition!) intentionally suppress individuality (ostensibly for the good of the 'whole'). The same. Without any difference. Commonality. There are pros & cons. Equality or a feeling of equality and sense of belonging. A commitment to the group as a whole rather than personal development and achievement. Of course, that can come at a personal cost/loss of personal development, achievement, & development of the individual.

In the US, our mindset tends to lean toward individual development & expression being more important. In Japan conformity for the greater good of all is the preferred attitude.

Rose, that's more or less where I started - uniforms have to be uniform, or what's the point? The pitfall here is that the uniform standards for the hairstyles are set based on average European hair. Ponytails, bobs, even one or two pigtails just don't work for very curly hair. So most students of African descent automatically find themselves out of compliance.

_________________

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

I've never understood why schools have to have policies about hair anyway, even if they have uniform policies.

_________________

Hoo boy. I remember being in school in the late 60s and early 70s. Hair (for boys) was a HUGE issue. It couldn't be longer than the collar of your shirt.

By the mid-70s they had given up on that rule—but the reason I clearly remember the first time I saw my future husband is that he was one of the TWO young men at our 1,000-student high school whose hair was not just past his collar but hanging down his back.

_________________
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

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'But very bright were the stars upon the margin of the world, when at times the clouds about the West were drawn aside.'

Oh say can you see my eyes
If you can, then my hair's too short!

Should have put this one on my list of favorites!

_________________
Window seat for one,
Passage out of town
The old fashioned way:
Train ticket, out bound.
Midnight departure,
Red-eye double-track.
Star filled horizons,
Beacons in the black.
Last call for boarding,
Destination: nowhere.
Two carry-on bags
Ought to get me there.
Don’t know how far
‘Til my journey’s done;
Train ticket, out bound,
Window seat for one.

Oh, man, that takes me back! My parents saw that show, bought the album, and played it endlessly. I loved it.

(They had no problem with Tom’s hair!)

_________________
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

It's pretty weird to me to think how politicized people's hair has been/can be. Like, why do you care?

_________________
I wanna love somebody but I don't know how
I wanna throw my body in the river and drown
-The Decemberists