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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 5:54 pm 
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yovargas wrote:
Frelga wrote:
So now the person you just harmed has to not only suffer the harm you caused, they have to prove that they've been harmed in hopes that you will stop.


I mean, if you want people to stop doing something, you have to tell them why. That doesn't seem unreasonable to me. :scratch:
If someone steps on your toe, and you go ouch, do you want them to say sorry and move, or should they question you about your toes, whether you even have any, and whether it hurts you more when their heel is on your toe than it inconveniences them to move away?

All while standing on your foot?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 6:01 pm 
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Frelga wrote:
yovargas wrote:
Frelga wrote:
So now the person you just harmed has to not only suffer the harm you caused, they have to prove that they've been harmed in hopes that you will stop.


I mean, if you want people to stop doing something, you have to tell them why. That doesn't seem unreasonable to me. :scratch:
If someone steps on your toe, and you go ouch, do you want them to say sorry and move, or should they question you about your toes, whether you even have any, and whether it hurts you more when their heel is on your toe than it inconveniences them to move away?

All while standing on your foot?


It also forces this expectation that every interaction is an individual, stand-alone moment, that is not in any way influenced by the history of moments leading up to that point.

We don't need every individual to tell us why this very moment that word or action hurt, because we have known for decades that exactly these moments and these actions hurt! Expecting everyone to repeatedly express this is itself a form of harm perpetuated upon them, to continually prove their pain for our convenience.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 6:08 pm 
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not something I would recommend
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Frelga wrote:
If someone steps on your toe, and you go ouch, do you want them to say sorry and move, or should they question you about your toes, whether you even have any, and whether it hurts you more when their heel is on your toe than it inconveniences them to move away?

All while standing on your foot?


No, because everyone already knows that stepping on toes hurts. The things that only hurt some and not others have to be explained.

Like, say, how most people can eat bread just fine but some people with gluten intolerance are hurt by it. If that person wants their friends to stop taking them out for pizza, they'll have to explain to them what gluten intolerance is.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 2:49 am 
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yovargas wrote:
No, because everyone already knows that stepping on toes hurts.


Do they? I've never had my toes stepped on. Some people enjoy a bit of toe-stepping. If your toes are so sensitive, why are you wearing flip flops? I always wear steel-toed boots. You can step on my foot, I don't care. Fine, if I move my heel closer to your instep will you quit whining about it? See, maybe I'd move if you calmly explained what's wrong with me stepping on your toes, but you are just screaming, so I'm going to bounce up and down on your foot instead.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:17 am 
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not something I would recommend
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I'm not really sure what your point is. That some people are jerks? Cuz, like, duh. :scratch:

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:36 am 
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No, the point is that this is literally how that conversation goes for people who are targets of prejudice. Over and over, they have to have that conversation with each person who steps on their toe. Some people are oblivious. Many are malicious and are prepared to cross the street if they see a toe they could step on.

The point is, when someone tells you that you are hurting them, the kind thing to do is to assume they mean it unless there's evidence to the contrary.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:18 pm 
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of Vinyamar
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Just a little humour :)

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:36 pm 
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Bust out the body paint!

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:45 pm 
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:rotfl:


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:02 pm 
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That little girl is so cute!

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