Beorn

[Alatar]

If its funny enough it'll go viral. Personally, I don't find it that funny, but tastes differ.

[Passdagas the Brown]

Whether or not you find it funny, you have to admit that were there to be a band called Jon Beorn Jovi, this guy would have to be the lead singer.

[Alatar]

Erm. No. I don't.

[Passdagas the Brown]

Erm. No. I don't.

Ok, then. Who would you choose as the lead singer for Jon Beorn Jovi? This guy has the name and the look, so he has a clear advantage. I mean, there ain't no doctor that can cure his disease. He's got bad metamorphosis. And bad metamorphosis is what he needs.

But, dead or alive, there may be some other cowboy out there that's better for the job.

[sinister71]

Erm. No. I don't.

Ok, then. Who would you choose as the lead singer for Jon Beorn Jovi? This guy has the name and the look, so he has a clear advantage. I mean, there ain't no doctor that can cure his disease. He's got bad metamorphosis. And bad metamorphosis is what he needs.

But, dead or alive, there may be some other cowboy out there that's better for the job.

Beorn may end up needing some "Bad Medicine" cause its "99 in the shade" and he might "Have a nice day' because he's "gotta have a reason" to shed some "blood on blood" at the BO5A

[Voronwë the Faithful]

I don't find it particularly funny either, particularly the more the two of you go on and on about it, as you are wont to do. Both of you could take a lesson from the posts made by Elen and Eldorian in the Cuaron thread. I can't say that 100% agree with either of them, but I can say that I find them 100% worthwhile. Which I can say about the posts of the two you, particularly when you egg each other on and go on and on like this.

[sinister71]

come on lifes too short to be 100% serious all the time... This a discussion forum not brain surgery. I don't see anything wrong with a bit of light humored fun. I could have posted some belching jokes or talked about how bad green food is, some other form of immature humor we got in AUJ if you like.

Personally I find that picture of Beorn so shockingly bad that its funny. Hopefully the acting is better than the look of the character

[Passdagas the Brown]

I don't find it particularly funny either, particularly the more the two of you go on and on about it, as you are wont to do. Both of you could take a lesson from the posts made by Elen and Eldorian in the Cuaron thread. I can't say that 100% agree with either of them, but I can say that I find them 100% worthwhile. Which I can say about the posts of the two you, particularly when you egg each other on and go on and on like this.

Good lord. It's a harmless and admittedly cheesy play on words. And the "going on and on about it" is a tradition of these kinds of campy play on words jokes - a tradition that was also a staple of our beloved motherland, TORC (I fondly recall Hama's wonderful contributions in this spirit)! In any event, I wasn't aware that there was a humor ban in effect.

Will attempt to be 100% serious in the future, I suppose.

Though I feel it appropriate to channel Tolkien himself in this moment. As he once said:

“I warn you, if you bore me, I shall take my revenge.”

There's no reason discussion of the films should be boring.

[Passdagas the Brown]

You also said:

Both of you could take a lesson from the posts made by Elen and Eldorian in the Cuaron thread.

I agree that both of them make excellent points, and do so with civility. However, it is apples and oranges to compare humorous asides with substantive contributions. Instead, you may want to compare their posts with some recent ones I made. You may have missed it, but I contributed a lengthy response (below) to Eldorian's great post (as well as yovargas' post), which I thought was substantive and respectful, and runs counter to the suggestion that I never explain my criticisms in full. But I suppose my recent humorous asides have overshadowed this.

Good points, all around.

I think El hits the nail on the head when she says that the movie tries to be all things to all people. There's an old saying that a camel is a horse made in committee. AUJ is a camel, IMO. It feels like a committee-made film that's preemptively trying to please everyone, while ultimately pleasing a lot of people only a little.

But beyond that, PJ's most egregious mistake, IMO, was an over reliance on CGI, a lack of restraint when it comes to action, and a very thin character arc for Bilbo, which is likely the result of splitting the film in three.

Something tells me that a two-film Hobbit, closing with Bilbo's escape plan for the dwarves, would have been far more emotionally powerful.

And in response to yovargas.

I generally agree with this, and feel that the action in LOTR was generally handled better. Cuaron includes lots of action in his films, but they are simultaneously visually and emotionally powerful. That is why I specify "mindless action" rather than just "action." It's a straw man to say that I oppose action itself. However, in AUJ the action was bad for a variety of reasons.

1. A lot of it was overly CGI and rather false-looking.
2. The fakery of the action was compounded by unrealistic physics and low consequences
3. There was little emotional dimension to the action. Though this wasn't the case with the Out of the Frying Pan scene, that was spoiled via overdone junk (hanging from someone's foot who is hanging from a wizards staff who is hanging from a fallen tree that is hanging over a cliff - seriously?)
4. It overstayed its welcome. Faaaar too long.
5. It was poorly shot - Goblintown is full of insane fast-flying cameras, the Troll fight is totally uninteresting and the warg chase before Rivendell is dull as dishwater. Compare the action here to some of the action in Game of Thrones, for example. That may be TV, but its directors mop the floor with PJ and company in that regard.
6. It hangs on a very thin narrative. There seems to be little at stake, rendering the scenes a bit boring.
7. There are too many action set pieces, leaving you exhausted and bored by the time another one pops up.
8. Some of it was laughably ridiculous. The Stone giants set piece was so ludicrous, it destroyed suspension of disbelief.

So again, I love good action in a good movie. But in AUJ, PJ gave us bad action. A lot if it. And it generally made AUJ a bad film.

A movie is not a book, but there are lots if directors that would have done a better job (and some who may have made it worse).

Here's to hoping for a Cuaron remake in 2025.

[Voronwë the Faithful]

Back in the day, there was a thread at another forum about the sexual tension between Aragorn and Lurtz. Brilliant stuff; very funny, and yet it also said something. I would take that kind of witty posting any day of the week. Compared to that this 'humor' is indded quite boring.

[Passdagas the Brown]

Back in the day, there was a thread at another forum about the sexual tension between Aragorn and Lurtz. Brilliant stuff; very funny, and yet it also said something. I would take that kind of witty posting any day of the week. Compared to that this 'humor' is indded quite boring.

Unfortunately, I don't have that much time on my hands anymore.

In any event, it's important to distinguish between different modes of humor. The post you reference was admittedly on the higher brow side. However, I also enjoy the deliberate cheesiness of the "play on word" joke. As I mentioned before, it is something of a tradition to keep such silliness going, even though it is admittedly on the juvenile side. Call it a love of using language to its fullest - both in its highest and lowest forms. Abraham Lincoln is my role model, in that regard. He was incredibly funny, I think, and that's because he was witty and wise, but also had a soft spot for absurd and vulgar humor.

In short, one can appreciate Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde and fart jokes all at the same time. I'd rather not be a snob about it.

Unless, of course, the fart jokes end up in a film adaptation of LOTR...In which case, hell hath no fury like mine.

[Alatar]

The problem here is that the continued attempts to flog a dead horse are all based on a really weak premise, namely that Beorn looks like Jon Bon Jovi, which he doesn't. That's the reason I don't find it funny, not because anyone is offended. I'm as up for a laugh as anyone, probably too much so, but it has to be based on something funny first and foremost.

To be fair, I'll admit I liked the Sonic the Hedgehog reference that was made somewhere. That one made me chuckle.

[Passdagas the Brown]

I'd say his hair looks enough like Bon Jovi's to warrant the comparison (IMO, of course)! Close enough, at least, to make the wordplay appropriate. In any event, I personally try not to interject with "that's not funny" if people are having a laugh, as it's a matter of taste (unless the joke were deeply offensive). It's simply an unpleasant thing to do. After all, noone is forcing anyone to participate.

But to be fair, Beorn seems to be more of a Bon Jovi-Kevin Kostner-Wolverine lovechild, if you ask me. An X-man from the 80s, perhaps?

Maybe he'll get an interesting backstory...

[Alatar]

I'd say his hair looks enough like Bon Jovi's to warrant the comparison (IMO, of course)! Close enough, at least, to make the wordplay appropriate. In any event, I personally try not to interject with "that's not funny" if people are having a laugh, as it's a matter of taste (unless the joke were deeply offensive). It's simply an unpleasant thing to do. After all, noone is forcing anyone to participate.

Actually, I was ignoring it until you tried to talk about it going viral. My response was this:

If its funny enough it'll go viral. Personally, I don't find it that funny, but tastes differ.

That's all. You're the one who followed up by insisting that my opinion had to agree with yours (emphasis mine:)

Whether or not you find it funny, you have to admit that were there to be a band called Jon Beorn Jovi, this guy would have to be the lead singer.

I then pointed out that I don't have to agree with you.

Erm. No. I don't.

You followed up by claiming that I should think of a different lead singer for the non-existent band "Jon Beorn Jovi".

Ok, then. Who would you choose as the lead singer for Jon Beorn Jovi? This guy has the name and the look, so he has a clear advantage.

Firstly, the band is called Bon Jovi, and the lead singer is Jon Bon Jovi, so your question makes no sense even in the context of your original joke.
Secondly, he doesn't have "the name and the look". In fact I would argue that he has neither. Kudos on that sharp bit of argument/comedy/whatever it was meant to be.
Finally, I wasn't looking for a lead singer for any band so congratulations on your appallingly constructed strawman.

[yovargas]

Compared to that this 'humor' is indded quite boring.

Ok, frankly, now you're just being a jerk. You're always riding PtB's back about one thing or another and it's been getting on my nerves for a while. I don't love everything he has to say either but that doesn't mean I think I should take every opportunity I can to tell him the "right" way to be posting. "Here's the way that you should post in order to amuse me". Seriously?? Yeesh.

[Voronwë the Faithful]

yov, it is because I know that my friend PtB is capable of so much better that I ride him when he flogs a dead horse like this. In this case, it isn't even his humor (it's Sinister's). Like Alatar, while I didn't find it funny to start with, I didn't comment until it continued to be repeated for a dozen or so posts.

In any event, you don't seem to notice the many times that I compliment him, agree with him, and/or engage in substantive discussion with him. He raises the tone of this forum, which I appreciate very much.

[Dave_LF]

I don't get Bon Jovi specifically, but there is definitely something of a death-metal-meets-80s-hair-band flavor to the character. Which is perhaps appropriate given his Scandinavian overtones.

[Passdagas the Brown]

Al,

Straw man? Really? Obviously, I know you weren't looking for a lead singer for a fictional band that was invoked for the sole purpose of telling a joke about Beorn's appearance! I was responding to your wet blanket comment with an attempt to keep things light-hearted and silly. To which you replied with utter seriousness (and frankly, meanness). The rules of debate do not apply here!

Honestly, I find this to be one of the most bizarre responses to a bit of harmless silliness that I have ever experienced.

And my apologies for mis-speaking earlier. Let me rephrase:

"But you have to admit that were there to be a band named Beorn Jovi, this guy would be the ideal candidate. He has the name and the look, which gives him a distinct advantage."

Lastly, I know he doesn't look that much like Jon Bon Jovi. But the word play was too fun to ignore.

Okay, this is just unhealthy. Hall of Fire, start lightening up...now.

[Passdagas the Brown]

Thanks, yov. I appreciate the sentiment!

And yes, Voronwë was being a big jerk/ humor police. But he's a friend, so I cut him some slack. Although he can be terribly unfunny sometimes!

[Alatar]

Al,

Straw man? Really? Obviously, I know you weren't looking for a lead singer for a fictional band that was invoked for the sole purpose of telling a joke about Beorn's appearance! I was responding to your wet blanket comment with an attempt to keep things light-hearted and silly. To which you replied with utter seriousness (and frankly, meanness). The rules of debate do not apply here!

Honestly, I find this to be one of the most bizarre responses to a bit of harmless silliness that I have ever experienced.

And my apologies for mis-speaking earlier. Let me rephrase:

"But you have to admit that were there to be a band named Beorn Jovi, this guy would be the ideal candidate. He has the name and the look, which gives him a distinct advantage."

Lastly, I know he doesn't look that much like Jon Born Jovi. But the word play was too fun to ignore.

Okay, this is just unhealthy. Hall of Fire, start lightening up...now.

I'll make this simple for you.

I didn't care for the humour. My bad.

Being berated for not liking your humour? Your bad.

Your idea of fun is not my idea of fun. Back. Off.