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 Post subject: Sauron's Blog
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 5:43 pm 
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[V - wasn't quite sure where to post this - please move if this isn't the best place!]

Anyone else discovered this hilarious and very clever blog? So far runs from the Ainulindalë up to the War of Wrath. Start reading today [language warning]

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Sauron’s blog is a linear story, in which the Lord of Barad Dûr recounts the details of his long and magnificent life.

Lord Sauron requires that you read from the beginning. You don’t want to know what happens if you do not. Don’t even think about it.

Start reading from the first post, located HERE. Each post contains a link to the next.

Lord Sauron thanks you for your cooperation. When Melkor returns from the Outer Dark, and the world is subsumed in endless fire, your death shall be quick and painless.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 6:40 pm 
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Is this blog where he talks about the orcs cutting onions and making him cry? And about how hobbits are nothing more than dash board ornaments? or his um...relationship with Elrond?

Cause if it is it's hillarious, I found it years ago and laugh everytime I read it.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 6:43 pm 
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Uhm, no...

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 6:50 pm 
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Well I can't access it from where I am at right now, so I will look later. funny blog on LoTR is always good to read.

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From the ashes, a fire shall be woken. A light from the shadow shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 7:14 pm 
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Making fun of the Dark Lord Sauron is a sure sign of the decline and imminent fall of Western Civilization.

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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.... John Rogers


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 7:57 pm 
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Lali Beag Bídeach
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Is it funnier than the Very Secret Diaries series? :D

(I'll go read it and post back later.)

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:23 pm 
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bioalchemist
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Not sure. But it is pretty awesome. The character is the character Tolkien wrote and things are nicely set up for the Second and Third Ages but the voice...the voice is hilariously modern. I love it.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:03 pm 
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Padme - it's brilliantly conceived and hysterical, well worth the effort - had me in tears of laughter in places!

SF - you're just sore you didn't come up with it yourself... ;)

Lali - haven't read all the Very Secret Diaries (:oops:) but from what I have, this is better - as River says, it's awesome!!! Who knew that Sauron once had a thing for Melian??

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Last edited by Elentári on Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:13 pm 
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<gasp> You haven't read the VSD?

Do! They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I think they're hysterical.

They're also extremely short.

Sauron's Blog is not, which is why it's got to wait for me. . . .

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“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:16 pm 
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My edit cross-posted with Prim!

I just checked them out and realized I have read some of them at some point in the past.

Sauron's Blog has 60 entries currently (of varying length) and is pretty easy reading. You'll find yourself LOL-ing, so be warned if you not alone when you read it!

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:27 pm 
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Also beware if you're upstairs supposed to be working and your teenage daughter is downstairs painting the dining room and you've been complaining about how tedious and dull your current project is and she's steaming off 40-year-old wallpaper and sweating and scraping, and then all of a sudden she hears you giggling wildly upstairs.

Just saying.

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“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:43 pm 
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bioalchemist
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Hmm, yes. That would be an awkward scene.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:40 am 
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not something I would recommend
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Hypothetically speaking, I'm sure.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:19 am 
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Living in hope
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Oh, yes, a mere theory. :whistle:

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“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 10:23 pm 
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Lali Beag Bídeach
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Indeed.

I haven't read all the entries, but it was funny.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:08 pm 
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It's a New Age

...and a new Sauron!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:22 am 
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Latest entry is up on Sauron's blog, after a hiatus...

Barad-dûr is finally complete...

Quote:
The designs for the Dark Tower went through several iterations, actually. At one point it was like a 10-mile-high needle, meant to penetrate the clouds and keep watch on all Middle-earth. Then I thought of having to climb up and down one 60,000-step staircase all day long, and ditched that idea. Then I got all caught up with an article I read in an in-flight magazine, whatever that is, and decided to go ranch-style — one storey tall and 20 miles wide. That was sure stupid.

I even had a version — the plans were laid out and everything — with giant obsidian horns on the top of the tower, and I would manifest between the horns all day long as a giant flaming eye! I would look like a humongous lighthouse! Isn’t that the dumbest thing you ever heard???


:rofl:

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There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:25 am 
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Just reached entry#60.

It's so geeky! And I mean that in a good way. Does anyone know who wrote it?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:31 am 
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I didn't write it, but I did write several about a woman who married Sauron. :D

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:13 am 
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Lali Beag Bídeach
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Still hilarious!

vison, where's this writing? :poke:

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