Found writing

[Primula Baggins]

Found written in tiny, tiny type, sideways, on the label of a bottle of Lagunitas IPA:

I leaned back with my feet up on my desk. I read my name backwards on the door and wondered. Like a bad joke told to a brown-shoed square in the dead of night, it all came rushing back to me. I thought carefully about getting up from my desk, putting on my new Velarimosa prawn hat, opening the door to the hallway, checking the spelling on my name one more time, closing the door behind me, heading down to the first floor, making my way down the evening street full of worn out proles and pinheads, finding the corrupt pirate pastrami burrito vendor who trades fist fulls of change for volcanic gastritis, continuing to a dark doorway the length of which would lead me to a knuckle worn bar top of mildew and pine, mounting a bow-legged stool and ordering a pint of the nectaral Maximus Ale. And then I did.

What odd bit of writing has ambushed you lately?

[baby tuckoo]

IPA? International Pale Ale?

Also, the passage above is clearly based on the Firesign Theatre routine called "Nick Danger, Third Eye." I believe. Not that it is less amusing for the fact. Everything is based on something.

As soon as I find it on my messy desk, I'll pass on the odd bit I read last night.

[Voronwë the Faithful]

India Pale Ale, actually.

Prim, great idea for a thread. Though I don't have anything to contribute.

[Primula Baggins]

You spotted it, too, bt! I know just about all of Nick Danger by heart, as does the whole family. Love it.

My nostrils flared at the smell of his perfume. Pyramid Patchouli! There was only one joker in L.A. sensitive enough to wear that scent . . . and I had to find out who he was!

[vison]

Found writing: an interesting message about a guy named Chad who apparently possesses a kewl talent. So impressive is Chad that a grateful recipient of his attentions was moved to write all about it, in lipstick, on the wall of a "ladies room". I guess she didn't have a pen and paper handy.

I must say I am going about looking for Chad. Who would have thought such a guy could live in l'il ol' Langley?

[Primula Baggins]

Apparently I miss a lot living in stodgy, staid ol' Eugene.

[axordil]

Rocky Rococco, at your cervix.

Do bottles of Dr. Bronner's soap count?

[vison]

My Dad loved stuff like this: He bought a camera for $2 because it promised that "You, too, can take pictures from here to infinity!"

But infinity was pretty blurry.

Cheap camera, I guess.

[artie]

Rocky Rococco, at your cervix.

Whatever happened to Rocky Rococco?

[axordil]

If memory serves, he got run over by a time machine. But I think he was back for the sequel.

[Angbasdil]

When I was in high school, I found a small scrap of paper in the school hallway, upon which was written something like the following:

As I wander through this universe, I believe I have learned three facts:
1. I am but one unit of space-time; one body of space.
2. I am but one mind in the universe; I can change only myself.
3. My brain has been infused with some form of impurity, causing malfunction.

I had no idea who wrote it, what inspired it or exactly how high the writer had been at the time. I had no idea how it came to end up on the floor of the school hallway. But it was so cryptic and strange that I folded it up and kept it in my wallet for years. Until I lost my wallet.

[anthriel]

[Crucifer]

I sat down on a public loo once, and on the inside of the door, some insightful individual had written something like this:

A man once knelt and said "O God, thou omnipotent, all encompassing Jehovah, thou supreme glorious Orb, shedding forth Universes, thou center of them, thou majestic King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Prince of Princes, (and so on, for several lines), I praise thee."

And God said "What?"

[BrianIsSmilingAtYou]

http://www.ninakatchadourian.com/langua ... dbooks.php

[Primula Baggins]

A whole new literary art form, Brian! Though it's visual, too—some of those books are beautiful.

So, Lagunitas beer again, though this time Imperial Stout (note that this is a 22-ounce bottle and 8.2% alcohol, and no, I did not just drink it, nor did I in fact get any at all):

Having downed his fourth Imperial Stout of the day, the wild eyed charlatan from Voldvostigniaky belched and hollered for the Czarina to enter his chamber and bend herself to his will. The economy was a wreck and revolt was just around the corner. Nicky the Czar dude was off playing soldier like any pale nobleman with a hemorrhagic skin condition would. Such were the final days of the old empire. Reactionary, decadent, sputnik, stroganoff, weird, and drunk. But even as the proletariat countryside labored under inhuman conditions and a threat of being sent to a futile war in the east, they wisely took the time to slam back an Imperial Stout or two. After all, life can be a real "suka", as they said in the old country. Big, black, bourgeois, bolshoy, belligerent, buxom, and scary—this is our version of the chaotic end of an era in a bottle.

Frankly I think this time the writer had been slamming back a few himself.

[Angbasdil]

I posted this over in Bag End in my RT&S thread, but I just realized it really belongs here.

Those of you who have been technogeeks for a while may be familiar with John C. Dvorak. He's been a noted columnist and broadcaster in the field of computers and technolgy since the 80's. Like everybody else nowadays, Dvorak has a blog. And his blog has a page spelling out the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy that you have to read.

http://www.dvorak.org/blog/html/terms.html

I think our lawyers especially might get a kick out of it.

And yeah, I could cut and paste it, but I'm going to make you go to his page to read it so he gets the traffic. I suppose that helps his advertising revenue. Besides, it uses a word that I believe is filtered out here.